A Heart of Gold~ Sandman x Reader: Chapter 34

                  Chapter Thirty-Four: Understanding

         You stare at Pitch, his eyes immediately locking with yours first. Your heart jumped in your chest, not expecting to face the dark spirit so quickly.

         You though when the moment came, you would hate him, despise him with a burning passion. Make him pay for everything he had done. For killing Sandy, for putting the children in danger’s way, for making you suffer. Even the thought of execution sounded appealing in a way. All this man had ever caused you and others was pain, horrors, and heartache. He deserved every horrible thing that came his way.

And yet.

         As you looked into his eyes, they bore none of what you expected. No hatred, no anger, no evil. All that shone in his gold and silver eyes was sorrow, regret, and the most prominent; fear. Ironic to see the Boogeyman afraid, preposterous even. But you couldn't ignore the jolt of fright embedded into his very soul, like a small child facing his worst nightmare. In that moment, you didn't see a monster. In that moment, you didn't see the Boogeyman, or the King of Nightmares.

All you saw was a broken father.

         A father longing for his family back. Longing to find love, and be loved; to just be accepted even. He cherished his wife and daughter so much, you could read it off his face as easily as a book. You felt your own heart pang with grief, thinking about your own father.

         All you ever wanted was his love… All Pitch ever wanted was his daughter’s love…  His wife of course too, but still. You could relate to Pitch. To long for that father-daughter relationship again. The once grand hero risked his life trying to save his daughter when he thought she was in danger. Even though it was all a trap, he was willing to fight an army of nightmare men to get to her. Though he was tainted now, only people with brave and loving hearts would be willing to sacrifice themselves for others. And after hearing his story, you were almost sure that pure heart was still buried underneath the blackened spirit.

         He wasn't truly evil. He made many mistakes, yes, and some are considered unforgivable. But that didn't make him evil. He was just used. Used by the fearlings, doing their bidding without a say in it or anything. He was simply the shell that they used. Pitch was an empty, lonely spirit who needed help; who needed affection.

And you were willing to give it.

         Bunnymund broke the deathly silence, charging forward and screaming a battle cry, his boomerangs tight in his fists. You snap back to reality and watch in horror as the 6 foot rabbit kicked Pitch into the ground. Pitch tried to protect himself, his arms blocking his face and eyes wide in fear. But as more kids believed in the Guardians, less believed in him. From a powerful spirit threatening to take over the world to a helpless one cowering in fright in minutes.

         Without even thinking, you scream at Bunnymund and run forward, jumping between him and Pitch and holding your hand out. Everyone immediately froze. You knew they were all confused by your outburst; Pitch the most.

“Crickey! (Name)! What the devil d’ya think you’re doin’? Chuck a yewey over so I can finish this bimbo!” Bunny snarled, clearly angry for almost hurting you and you suddenly defending your enemy.

         But you hold your ground. You and Aster both mentally shoot daggers at one another, but neither of you move an inch. Without even blinking, you utter one word.

“No.”

         Tooth could feel the tension rising off of Bunny. And after years of experience, she knew an angry Easter Rabbit was never a good thing. She quickly zipped up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a worried look.

“(Name), sweetie, what are you doing? Why are you defending Pitch? He’s the bad guy! Do you not remember what he has done?”

         Something inside of you snapped. You immediately turn towards Tooth and look her straight in the eye. She seemed started by your sudden glare, but you needed to get your message across.

“Do you, of all people, not remember who he was before? The story North told us mere minutes ago?? He was a husband! He was a father! He didn't choose this life! It chose him. Did he deserve to lose his family? No! Did he deserve to be shunned by the world? No! Did he deserve an eternal life to live alone with no one else there for him? NO! So he sure as heck doesn't deserve this abuse anymore!”

You could feel bewildered looks from everyone, but you couldn't stop the words pouring out of your mouth.

“I know he did things that were contemptible. He murdered  innocent lives. North suffered when Mrs. Clause died. We all suffered when we thought Sandy was dead. But he did it out of his own pain! After everything he had gone through, everything he lost! He lost his entire family by forces he couldn't control. It’s not fair to see your enemy living an incredible, happy life while you have to live a crappy one!

“Why can’t Pitch have a happy life? What horrible thing did he do before to deserve this life now? Absolutely nothing! It’s not fair for him to be treated like dirt when in the past he was a hero. Murdering was still wrong of him, but he was a man! And men make mistakes! That’s just life!”

         The Guardians were stone cold silent, probably feeling guilty and pitiful. You break your gaze from the Guardians and turn your head to look down at Pitch. His eyes were wide with shock, his breaths deep and heavy. He looked completely bewildered, not just by you simply defending him; but because what you were saying was indeed true. You turn your body so you’re now facing the King of Nightmares and kneel down, completely at eye-level.

“I should hate your guts right now. I really should. But now knowing everything you've gone through; the hardships, the agony, the loneliness…”

You notice Pitch flinch at the last one.

“… I’m sure anyone would have reacted the same way if they were in your shoes.”

         Pitch didn't respond. The spirit seemed at a loss of words. You didn't know if this was good or bad, so you allow him to think more about it as you turn your head towards Bunnymund. He still seemed angered by your change of heart, but you could tell the stubborn rabbit was also considering what you were saying.

“I know this war between good and bad has been going on for centuries; before time and space. But that doesn't mean it has to continue for the rest of your eternal lives! Bunnymund, your whole center is revolved around hope, and new beginnings. Isn't it about time we started a new era? To just start fresh and begin all over again?”

         Bunny flinched at the mention of his center, and seemed to slightly scowl as you used it against him. But he couldn't argue with the truth. You made a valid point. With a huff, the large rabbit looked down, avoiding eye contact with you and lowering his boomerangs.

“You can’t kill fear.”

         You whip your head back around to Pitch’s growl. Though he seemed softer, his stubbornness was still there. You could tell your words were getting to him, yet the Nightmare King refused to actually show it. He didn't want to show how weak he truly was.

“It’s everywhere,” He  continued, “and there’s nothing you can do about it.” An evil smirk grew on his face.

         Bunnymund looked about ready to pounce on him again, but Sandy held him back. The golden man shook his head and turned his focus back on you and Pitch. Your lover knew you were right, and he was willing to help whatever way possible.

         Pitch still wanted to seem strong and independent. He wanted to be the man everyone should fear, only because that’s all he thought he was. A man who should be feared. He didn't think he deserved anything beyond that. But you saw past that. This poor soul deserved more than that, craved more than that. He just wanted attention, affection.

Love.

         You calmly smirk at the Boogeyman’s reply. “I don’t disagree; there will always be fear, that much is true. But when you think about it, fear is kind of a good thing. It prevents children from doing extremely dangerous things. If everyone was completely fearless, imagine what trouble they might get into! They could get hurt, or worse. Fears help to control kids, keep them out of harms way.”

Pitch’s face fell, never before considering that idea. It amused you in a way, but you continued to talk.

“You don’t have to turn completely good; that’s not what I’m asking. But what I’m saying is that there doesn't have to be a winner and a loser in this grand battle. Why must it be so black and white? Can’t good and evil work together in a way that’s balanced? Have a touch of fear here, a touch of dreams, wonder, fun, and hope there. It doesn't have to be like this!”

         You held your palm out towards the Boogeyman as a sign of friendship. “You don’t have to rule the world to be believed in Pitch. Let’s work together instead of fight each other.”

         Pitch was breaking; you could tell. His eyes looked at your outstretched hand like an animal, hungry for the thought of no longer being alone; companionship even. But his mind fought with his body, not wanting to admit defeat and become friends with the Guardians he had been fighting with for so long.

         You felt a small hand on your shoulder, making you and Pitch both instantly look up. Sandy floated softly beside you, looking Pitch dead in the eye. At first, his face was expressionless, he simply looked at the broken spirit. But after a moment’s pause, his round, friendly face smiled calmly towards the dark man, his eyes baring no hatred or anger. You marveled at your shining star. Even though Pitch had killed him, threatened you, and made children suffer, your golden Guardian still had a big enough heart to look past all of that and look towards a fresh start.

         You place your hand over-top of his, beaming at your soul mate. He quickly turned his head, his eyes looking just as lovingly into yours. You both get lost in each other for a moment, fully aware that others were watching; Pitch especially. Sandy suddenly looks behind himself, towards his friends with that same smile. You immediately follow his gaze.

         Jack and Tooth were both smiling softly and nodding their heads slowly, indication they agreed with what you said earlier. Though things were bad in the past, that didn't mean they had to be in the future. Bunnymund was still angry, but even he broke his gaze on the ground to lock eyes with you, and gave you the slightest nod. It was time for a new beginning.

         And finally, there was North. The large Russian man’s face was expressionless, staring right at the spirit who had killed his wife hundreds of years ago. You knew he would never forgive Pitch. Things like this couldn't be forgiven very easily. North turned his eyes to you, making you freeze uneasily. He didn't smile, nor nod his head. He just stared into your eyes with his deep blue ones. And even though he just looked at you, you still knew what his answer was.

         He could never be friends with Pitch. Not after everything that he had done. But that didn't mean he couldn't reason with him. North was willing to stay neutral. He was never going to forgive Pitch, yet he was accommodating enough to cease fighting. And that was a good enough response for you.  

         You and Sandy both smile at your companions, nodding with gratitude for their understanding and support. You both turn back to the dark spirit at the same time, still waiting for his response.

         Pitch could see the love you shared. Not just between you and Sandy, but between all of the Guardians. His face seemed emotionless, yet full of hope at the same time. He craved that feeling; to be loved. But oddly enough, he hated it, and was afraid of it. Love made him happy once, and yet also caused him all of his constant pain. Pain that would, no, could never go away. Was it worth it, to be loved? Was all of the pain and suffering that followed afterward worth a family in the first place?

After a few minutes, Pitch finally made eye contact with you again. His eyes were dark, and his mouth was shaped into a small snarl.

“This isn't the end of it you know,” he murmured. “I will be back.”

You felt your heart fall slightly at his words. Even Sandy seemed to slowly droop. Nevertheless, you sighed and replied calmly.

“Then we’ll be here for you when that time does come.”

Pitch could take what you said either way. As a threat, or as a promise that if he did ever change his mind… he had somewhere to go.

         Pitch recoiled at your response, blinking a few times in surprise as he processed your statement.  As he locked eyes with you again after a pause, you knew a sense of silent understanding passed between you both. Sure, he didn't accept your offer of peace, but he wasn't attacking you at this moment. During the entire conversation, he could have harmed you, or worse, killed you while your guard was down. But he did none of the above. You knew though his soul was black, there was a sliver of light and good in him hidden in the abyss.

         Pitch looked into your eyes a while longer, then finally, blended into the night and vanished into thin air. But before he left, you could've sworn you saw the slightest smile creep up his lips. Not an evil one; it was softer, almost… kind. But he disappeared so fast, you didn't get a chance to confirm if what you saw was real or not.

But you couldn't help but grin anyways.

         Though he was still a threat, you knew that eventually the King of Nightmares would soon come around. One day, you would all call a truce and live in balance with one another.  One day, Pitch will allow love to snake back into his heart.

One day.

~~~~~